Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
farters have to be the big spoon...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Randomize
