The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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