and you said cock pushups were impossible
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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