our cab driver is having phone sex.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
