Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
bring money and cleavage
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
