that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
