I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
