he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I love having hate sex.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
