What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
