Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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