I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She announced her abortion via fbk
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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