so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The air taste purple.
Randomize
