She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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