He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
