he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
