Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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