I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
