I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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