So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it was like eating out sand paper
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Even my vagina gasped.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
