Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
