sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
