Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
foreskin is a definite game changer
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
