I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just googled if crying burns calories
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
