you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
