i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
