There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
