I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
