Life is so much better after having sex.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
