so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
