You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
