That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
