none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
