he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
