Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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