Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
