Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
