If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
