How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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