Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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