You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
