I wanna passion pit in your ass
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
