no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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