If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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