Those balls look pretty dangerous.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
