So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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