We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
