Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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