I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
