The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
