So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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