it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
